Seen, Unseen, and Misunderstood: The Human Cost of Body Bias

I sat in silence today as a friend shared something that landed far heavier than she realised. She spoke about the isolation she has faced for years, not because of who she is, but because of how others perceived her body. As a woman who was slightly overweight, she felt invisible to some men and hyper-visible to others. Ignored by many, fetishised by a few. Undesirable until she wasn’t. Desired suddenly, but never genuinely.

And as I listened, it struck me that this isn’t just about gender. This isn’t just about women. This isn’t just about men. This is about all of us—any of us who have ever been made to feel “other” because of our bodies.

What she described is a silent, universal wound:

The wound of being judged before you speak.

The wound of being sorted into categories you never agreed to.

The wound of wondering if someone’s interest is real, or just a projection of their fantasy or insecurity.

For some of us, it shows up as exclusion, being passed over, overlooked, or dismissed.

For others, it arrives as fetishisation, being wanted only through a lens that strips away individuality and humanity.

For many, it becomes insecurity-internalising the labels and learning to avoid connection altogether.

And the hardest part?

We don’t talk about it.

We pretend it doesn’t matter.

We call it superficial.

But it isn’t superficial when it shapes how we are seen-or how we learn to see ourselves.

Bodies hold stories. But too often, the world only reads the cover and assumes it knows the plot.

My friend’s experience reminded me that compassion requires us to look deeper. To question our biases. To recognise the quiet harm done when we reduce someone to a shape, a size, a fantasy, or a category. And to remember that dignity is not conditional.

Every person deserves to move through life without being erased, exaggerated, or objectified.

Every person deserves to be valued for their whole self-not just their packaging.

And every one of us deserves relationships that are grounded in truth, connection, and respect.

This isn’t a women’s issue. It isn’t a men’s issue. It’s a human issue.

One we only begin to solve when we start telling the truth about how it feels.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is listen.

And sometimes, the most courageous thing we can do is finally speak.